Words

Just in the past few days, a major root has been exposed in my life. This particular root has been choking my growth in many areas. It has effected relationships, my art work, my seriousness, my ability to be vulnerable in front of others, the ability to be myself no matter who I am around. I realized that I put up a wall of humor which gives me the upper hand in most situations with other people which keeps them from going to any depths of me. I don't even know what those depths look like... I'm hoping bright colors and swirls, but hey, we can't always win.  I found out why I carried so much fear, the wounds of being mocked throughout my life have not been healed. The hurt of trusting someone with my heart, and then having them ridicule me while everyone laughs, was fresh within me.

 Imagine in fast speed a child is born, picture it... so fresh, new, perfect and beautiful. It's getting older, figuring things out, still cute. It gets older, other kids think it's weird or different, and here comes the negative, "you're stupid!" "You're not funny, get away from me!" They continue to get older, their growth has been hindered. The insults start to get more detailed and intense. They start teasing it about the family in which it came from, which causes a whole bunch of insecurity issues in itself... By the time they're considered full grown, they have been stunted, scarred and belittled. How can all of the damage be undone?

  Our words have the power to either build up or tear down. A lot of them do worse things then tear down, they cripple, they torment and stunt growth.  I would encourage whoever is reading this, to look up words and water, just google "words and water" and you'll find that words actually impact the molecular structure of water..... remember how our bodies are 70% water? And the earth is 70% water... 

  I'm convinced that the little jingle, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" came straight from the mouth of satan. I just googled that saying and it is encouraging to see that others are realizing that it is bull crap. However, I have not read a blog or article that has a solution. The solution is Jesus Christ and the cross. Who else can erase the damages and labels that others have slapped on us?

  For my entire childhood all the way up until a month ago, I was convinced that I was not pretty unless I was a certain size or unless my arms didn't have little bumps. I was told throughout my life that I was chunky, one of my earliest nicknames was "thunder thighs" by my uncle, thinking it was cute. He had no idea that for 21 years, I would struggle day in and day out with the way I looked and who I was. It was incredibly exhausting to never be satisfied with how I was, or to believe that I was never good enough until something changed, until I was perfect. It wasn't until Jesus looked me in the face and said, "Alyssa, I love you yesterday, today, tomorrow and forever no matter what you do. You are mine and I want to keep you." It had nothing to do with my looks, but the fact that Jesus wants to keep me, and His love knows no boundaries or limits, changed everything I thought about myself. I am worth being loved, even if I screw up. I don't have to get perfect first in order to be loved. It's been a process to learn who I am in Christ. I know this, I am who He says I am. Says. 

No one should ever be told they're stupid. Who are we to deem such a thing? How prideful to label someone else as stupid? 

Where has encouragement gone? Why don't we encourage one another? Is it because we're all so bitter about the fact that no one ever says anything nice to us? Because we're swimming in our own pool of lies that have spoken over us? It's time for freedom, it's time for love, encouragement, it is time for us to walk in the way the Lord has created us to walk. Recovering alcoholics, stop labeling yourself as "an alcoholic". That is not who you are and you were never created to be that way. Maybe you've struggled with alcohol (I have), but it's over. Stop giving it glory by talking about it and allowing that label to be stuck to you.

We need to clean our filthy mouths. With the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. Whatever is in our heart is going to come out of our mouths, what does your heart look like? Bitter? Angry? Jealous? Prideful? Point your worship to the Lord, get your eyes in the word, hiding what you're reading in your heart, then, truth will be the overflow.