Friday, January 30, 2009

Hunger Week, Day Four- Intercession

Two nights ago I had two dreams. One, an old friend of mine was dying and someone told me to shoot him so he can be put out of his misery. They planned it all out for me and I shot at a wall knowing that he was on the other side. After many shots, I knew he was dead. After it was all over, I realized that he was gone forever and there was no way to bring him back. Regret and sorrow filled my heart as I realized I never told him he needed Christ, I never stood in the gap and prayed for his salvation.

His blood was on my hands.

The next dream I had was that my dad died. It was so real and so vivid. Real memories flooded my mind. I remember doing the dishes and him walking behind me and I got angry and disgusted at his alcohol use and pride. Another memory was when I was 7 or 8, him and I were fishing together on a quiet, secluded part of the lake and I just sat and watched him. I liked being with him more than I liked the fishing. I sat back and watched him cast his pole in the water all focused and determined.. and I realized that my dad would die someday. At that moment I knew that I wanted my dad to always know that I love him so much and I wanted to spend as much time with him as I could. In the dream, I cried like how I would imagine I would if he really did die.. the thing that I was weeping the most about was that I had the ability to communicate with heaven on his behalf, but I didn’t cry out enough. 

I awoke from my sleep to the sound of my own wailing and weeping. 

I sat up knowing that it is our duty and our vocation to intercede, intervene and stand in the gap for people we know, people we don’t know... things of this nation, of this city and of this world. 


Bill Johnson, a pastor from Bethel Church in Redding, California said in one of his sermons, “History is shaped by those who pray, or shaped in the absence of those who could have prayed” 


He also said, “God in his sovereignty, chose us to be stewards of a planet, and in doing so we have the responsibility to interact with heaven and that is done through prayer.” 


1 Timothy 2:1 says, “I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayer, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone- for kings and all those in authority, (meaning our president and the decisions he plans on making) 

that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. (Meaning, God WANTS ALL men to be saved!) 

For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, "


Prayer positions us to affect the outcome of things beyond imagination. During this time tonight, set aside any hinderances and let us weep for those who weep and mourn for those who mourn. 


James 5:16 says, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. (We’ve done that the past couple of days so that’s good..) The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”


Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal specific things to pray for while you pray. I’m not saying that praying for the obvious is bad, but go deeper. Shooting arrows in all directions towards your enemy isn’t bad, but you’ll have a better outcome if you seek out the exact targets to hit. 


Ask the Lord to burden your heart, have him reveal the unseen. 

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Are You My Daddy?

Boyfriend, are you my daddy?

At first, my heart was overjoyed and overflowing with warm feelings, rosy cheeks and silly giggles. You made me feel worth something in the beginning. But then, you took my virginity away. You started mocking me in front of your friends... You started calling me unspeakable names that tore me down and broke my heart. You lied to me. You cheated on me...

You... are not my daddy. 


Jim Beam, Jack Daniels, Sailor Jerry, are you my daddy? 

At first you all were really nice to me. At night, when I would sit on my apartment floor all alone, you would comfort me. Your warmth took my tears away. But you tricked me. You stole my money, you lead me to places I shouldn’t have been, you blocked out my memory and lead me to people who hurt me. You mocked and made a fool out of me. You turned me into a drunken liar and tricked me into situations that lead to verbal, emotional, physical abuse and even date rape. 

You... are not my daddy.


Dad, are you my daddy?

Growing up, the idea of you was almost magical. I always wanted you to take me with you everywhere, even if it was boring. I wanted to go fishing with you and for you to teach me everything you knew. When I would hear your work truck coming down the road, my heart would beat so fast out of excitement at your arrival. But then you started hanging out with guys like Jim Beam, Jack Daniels and Sailor Jerry, and they tricked you too. They had you kick me out of the house and not remember the reason. I'm all grown up now and live in a different state... it's too late to go back.

I love you... but you’re not my daddy. 



Maybe I don’t need a daddy at all. Maybe I can do things on my own... 


But when I go without a daddy, my heart grows cold and hard. Without a daddy, there’s no one to protect me, no one to tell me that they have loved me since before I was born. Without a daddy, who will love me no matter how many mistakes I have made or will make? Without the love of a daddy... I am alone and incomplete... I don't know who I am...

There has to be a daddy for me. 

Lord, God ... are You my Daddy? 

You must be Him... you must be mine and I must be yours. It is you who I desire isn’t it? It was you who I wanted even as a lonely child... it was your time I wanted, it was you who I wanted to listen to me.. It was your, “I love you” I longed to hear. You are the one who completes me, aren’t you... Thank you for never turning your back on me when I tried to find love in all of those other men. 
You will never lie to me, or break my heart. You will never call me a disappointment. You think I am beautiful, don’t you... You waited for me even when I ignored you. I thank you that you have promised to keep me, thank you for wanting me. Thank you for having plans to prosper me and not to hurt me, plans to give me hope and a future. (Jer.29:11-13) I know you will never leave me. 

Please, always be my daddy. Please let me always be your little peanut. How can you want to be with me when you are so perfect? How is it that you are willing to hold my hand everywhere we go? How is it that you will love me no matter what? 

Father, even when I am old, please let me be your little girl. As long you are my father, my daddy, I am forever your crazy haired, little peanut.